Visiting a college sounds easy, right? Your child is interested in a particular university. She signs up for the official college tour. You show up together. You head to the info session, listen to the admissions rep, then follow the trained student ambassador around on the tour as they point to the science building, the first year housing, and one of three on-campus Starbucks.
But wait! What did your child learn? Does she know that she is ready to apply to this college? Why?
This is the way I think about it: you (the parent) have likely made a significant investment of time and possibly money (flights, hotel stays) to head to this college tour. So have a plan. This college might be one of the biggest investments you’ll make for your child. Let’s not leave it to chance that you’ll have the perfect tour guide on a sunny day who says all the right things. Here is what you can do to make the most of your visits:
- Plan it out. Why does your child want to go to college? What do they want to study? What is important to them about their college experience? These are hard questions. so guiding your child in thinking about their answers before they go to campuses is beneficial. Help them to create a list of what’s most important. (Example: 1. Academic supports 2. Nice dorms 3. Supportive peers/community) That way, they’re looking for specific things, not just enjoying the scenery.
- Have your child come up with questions in advance. Is it important to them to be able to easily walk from their dorm to class? Do they have to be able to have a parking spot on campus? Do they want lots of weekend activities? Does the cafeteria have options to support their dietary restrictions? Have your child, with your help, come up with a list of 10 to 15 questions that they can ask the tour guide or other students they encounter while on campus. They should bring a notebook and take notes. Trust me, it will help.
- Let your child be in charge. Your child is the one that is heading to college, not you. She needs to ask the questions, not you. Don’t be that parent who dominates each stop on tour! This is a time for your child to get the information pertinent to her. If you have questions, there are lots of opportunities to ask them (after the tour, email follow up, you get the idea). Give your child her time to shine!
- Observe the students as they walk past you. What’s the vibe you are getting about who is on campus? Do students look happy? In a rush? Stressed? Are they having conversations with each other, or looking down at their phones? Are any students talking to faculty members? Are there activities that you notice – tables with groups promoting events, frisbee, classes being held outside?
- Talk with your child after the tour. Listen to him. What did he think? What were his most significant impressions? What about the tour might be different if you went on a different day or had a different tour guide? If the time is right, it might even be a good moment for you to learn more about and connect with your child. Your goal in this conversation is to determine if he thinks this college is a good fit for him in ways that are meaningful to him. Some kids will open up and share, some won’t talk much, and that’s okay. If all else fails, try stopping close to campus for ice cream.
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