You may be wondering if your teenager will be “independent enough” to live on their own in college. Teens have had a lot of time at home the past eighteen years, and they may still be relying on you to do some things for them that they are capable of doing on their own. Check out this list and see which things need to be worked on!
Does your teen have a job?
This is the best way to grow independence! With a job, your teen benefits in so many ways: she is accountable to others, expected to be responsible and prompt, can earn money, and often deals with “the public” in the form of customers. She might have to talk to her boss about her schedule and the tasks she needs to perform. And in the process, she will learn how to manage time, responsibilities, and even conflicts.
Does your teen have a bank account?
If your teen manages her own money, she is learning valuable lessons prior to heading to college. Even if it’s just money she received for allowance, or pet sitting, or gifts from relatives, knowing how much she has and how to spend within a budget will help her when it comes time to do it on her own. Conversations about money with you – saving, spending, budgeting, record keeping – give you an opportunity to share some really valuable wisdom about an important topic.
Can your teen fix his own meals?
Before school, does your child fix his own breakfast? Does he clean up after himself? How about lunch – can he pack his own lunch for school? Does he remember to eat meals? As for dinner, can he list a few things he can make if you go out for the evening? Once he’s a little comfortable in the kitchen, he can help plan a meal, shop for it, and even cook for the entire family once in a while. And let’s not forget how important it is to be able to clean up.
Can your teen interact with teachers when he has a question or issue?
It’s a big step toward independence when your teen can take care of issues on his own. Sure, he might ask you for help in composing or editing the email, but if he is taking steps to work out and resolve any problems, he’s on the right track.
Does your teen manage her own schedule without being prompted?
Does your teen get up on her own with an alarm clock, or do you have to rouse her? When it comes time to take care of homework, who initiates getting it done? You shouldn’t have to constantly remind your teen to do her work. For sports and extracurricular activities, does she know her schedule, or are you always having to remind her about practices and games?
Does your teen do his laundry?
This is probably the easiest one on the list to incorporate if your teen hasn’t already nailed this skill. Walk him through the entire process (how to use the washer and dryer, what products to use and how much of them, where the clothes should go once their clean and dry), then assign him a weekly “laundry day.”
Does your teen have chores?
For many parents of teenagers, their kids are so busy with after school activities that they give up some expectations for chores getting done. If your teen is able to help out around the house (dishes, trash, pet duties, lawn care, cleaning, etc), she is contributing positively to the household, just like she will be doing at college with her roommates.
Can your teen follow directions?
If you give your teenager a task with three separate steps, can she complete it? An example would be to order a gift for a family member’s birthday, wrap the gift, and sign the card. Encouraging your teen to be thorough will prepare her when much bigger tasks, timelines and projects arise in college.
Can your teen navigate around town?
If your child is constantly using an app on his phone to get places, encourage him to try to get to the frequently visited locations with no technology. Not only is it ultimately safer and less distracting, but it’s a skill that will be helpful to develop as they move away from home.
If you’re unsure if your teen is on the right track, Matrix can help! Schedule a free consultation today.
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